Donald J Duck’s shot at the white house looked like it was in free-fall. Now shocking news has broken that he’s literally a DEMON. That’s right, a malevolent being thought only to exist in mythology and folklore. A fucking demon!
Just last week a tape surfaced with a casual conversation between Billy Bush and Donald J Duck. In it Duck is quoted saying the following:
– “I did try and fuck her. She was married.”
– “Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything. Quack.”
The recording seemed like it would be a deathblow to Duck’s presidential bid, but it wasn’t until a twitter user played the tape backwards that the full horror of the situation came to light. When played in reverse, Trump can be heard spitting and hissing. Then he pauses before saying, “I am Baphomet. You know my name as the Goat of Mendes or Satanas. Fall before me now or suffer the fate of one thousand swords. I am the Keeper of the 9 Seals and Master of this World. I am a tremendous demon”.
With the revelation of Duck’s true form, many prominent republicans have finally rejected him. An angry Chris Christie tweeted, “I can’t support a demon as president. I have my line, and a demon is definitely over it #trumpdemon #imout”.
How will the news that Duck is a literal demon play out in the polls? In a few short weeks, we will find out.